Vampire Strangler (1999)

Summary: Lydia is visiting her cousin in America and soon decides that she and him need more explicit bonding time. During this they get visited by vampires and a hooded voodoo priest. Anything can happen and only Lydia’s knows how to stop it.           Overall: I do think we have now finally hit an absolute all-time worst film. This is it. I’m even sad to report this, given that I am a Misty Mundae (Erin Brown) fan. The film is basically a little over an hour long. It’s all sex with occasional characters appearing and then disappearing for no reason whatsoever. And once the cousin, Billy, decides to strangle Lydia, the rest of the plot occurs without rhyme or reason. And then ends...with some weird twisty ending that didn’t make sense anyway.           But the true failing of this film beyond all of that is the inexplicable hardcore action in the film. Now any film of Misty Mundae may be like “oh cool...” and want to go get this film. She’s performing oral, receiving it, and even the deleted scenes have a different actress engaged in both as well as simulated/real (depending on the camera angle) intercourse. Now its obvious these were all just boyfriends & girlfriends doing some funky film involving filming each other’s sexual acts with some loose story around them. But you know what? It’s out, on a special edition DVD and hence, I get to review it. It’s an awful film. And sure, maybe Misty really was 19 (looking like 15) and had to career aspirations beyond having sex with her skinny boyfriend on camera. But is not a good watching. And be aware for the misty fans...you see all of misty...a lot. Tons of long drawn-out scenes between the legs, close-ups, nothing ever hidden to the viewer. You see her engaged in hardcore stuff here too. Nothing left to imagination really. And frankly, even with all the pros of seeing Misty...it’s a film that really isn’t watchable.           Comparison: Lust for Dracula meets Debbie Does Dallas

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