Splatter Beach (2007)

Summary: Tanya, Rupert and Rodney are off to "Splatter Beach" for an enjoyable weekend. But where as Rupert wants to investigate the local legends of sea creatures, the other 2 just wanna investigate each other. Turns out a local girl, Tess, knows for a fact there are creatures but until they show up and start to kill no one believes her. After this weekend, they'll never forget her!           Overall: If this is a Polonia Brothers film, then readers of my site will have a good idea of what I thought of their film.           But at least let me give you the good stuff first. I loved the casting. Big fan of Erin Brown so seeing her was a pleasant sight. We all know she's a good actress and the fact this is a change from her usual stuff at least shows she's branching out. And I loved Erika Smith. Beautiful girl, great role and still kept things interesting. And clearly the internet's favorite character was Duke. Great job with casting and his role. And finally, I'll give the Polonia's a nod in that they made the film they wanted to make and everyone seemed to enjoy it.           Ok, now for the bad stuff. It's not a very good film at all. The effects are awful, the monster isn't very good and the dialogue, especially for Rodney is atrocious. Much of the film is just unwatchable. But the blue-screen effects of the band really just ended whatever fun I was hoping to have. These effects are so fake, so bad it ruins the film. I saw the commentary with the Polonia's budgetary concerns but clearly they still haven't learned from my mantra: If you can't afford good effects, don't use bad ones. Polonia's…if you can't afford to put the real band and groupies at the beach, don't superimpose them. Work around it! The music video scene is very lame too. But to add insult to injury is the infamous boom mike. Come on guys, u can make this movie, afford the dvd cover, and the distribution, but you still can't edit your film correctly???? If you can't take the time to avoid silly mistakes, I won't take the time to write a good review!           Comparison: Creature from the Haunted Sea meets Night Crawlers

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