Marina Monster (2008)

- written October 2008

Summary: Earl Molar is puzzled by the recent depletion of fish from his local marina. As the annual "Around The Bay" sailing race draws nearer, Earl discovers that the culprit behind the shortage is a deadly shark. Earl's life is filled with his love for his girl, Oceana Anchor and the meddling of newspaper reporter Lola Dent, who is investigating the finances of Earl's father. Can he save the city before his dad’s activities are uncovered?           Overall: So let’s start with what was good about the film. It’s a film trying to have fun and be cute and be entertaining. They’ve got silly names for their characters and also try to promote a positive body image. None of the ladies are truly that good looking but the film is totally trying to show us you don’t have to look like Jessica Alba to be sexy. And that’s fine, good for them.           Now to the bad stuff. This may truly be one of the worst films out there. It’s soooo bad!!! The plot is all over the place and frankly I couldn’t follow scene to scene where it was going. And you have this shark professor who’s showing up and distracting you… And frankly, the inordinate amount of plot spent with the dad and his wives and his finances, made you forget the film was supposed to have a monster in it. I just had not idea where the film was going.           And the dialogue…maybe the worst I’ve ever heard in a film before. I’m not sure what the point was to have Earl continually “forget” to call his dad “Commodore” but they used the same line at least 18 times...”Father...I mean Commodore Molar...”           It got beyond annoying after just the 3rd time so as it happens in practically every scene, it just made no sense…and it only served to annoy.           The effects were awful…just abysmal. Please skip the film!!!!           Comparison: Jaws meets Octopus

Links to other sites at The Sinning Room

Horror Films L-Z Review Page

Horror Films Review Page