Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove (2005)

- written July 2007

Summary: Jess and Alex have watched their friends get killed by a mysterious murdering Pirate and they have to both find a way to survive yet investigate the deaths soon. Otherwise the blind and incompetent police will arrest them for murders they didn’t commit.           Overall: I may never truly understand why anyone might like/enjoy this film. It’s awful. In all ways, it’s awful. The writing is pathetic. The interrogation by the female police officer is done by someone who sounds like they’re pretending to be an officer. And the words she utters are stupid, pathetic and nowhere near realistic. I think the writers have at least shown they have no familiarity with either the police or our court system. In addition, the scenery is abysmal. You call that a police station? A holding room? Locking the door with a key??? Who does that? No mirrors, cameras, or windows?           As bad as all that is…frankly, the story is the worst. Sure we found out by the end of the movie why the pirate is killing the people that he is. Doesn’t make much sense but he is. But the fact we have to wait upwards of 60 minutes to figure out why…is just poor writing. No hints…just mindless deaths where you sit and stare and go “who was that?” You just don’t have a clue what’s happened until the end. I just sat there and frankly the deaths as they progressed becomes anti-climactic because frankly, I just couldn’t get involved with the film when I had no idea if these people even deserved this…because I had no idea who they were related to the Pirate’s quest.           And the stripper with the Pirate…? Cheesy! Sure the film loads up on the nudity but come one…give us some story too. This isn’t a cinemax film!           Bad, bad, bad film. Just nothing good could come from watching this film.           Comparison: Pirates of the Caribbean meets The Fog

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