Tales from the Crapper (2004)
- written January 2005
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The Crap-keeper is bringing us 2 new tales to feast our eyes on.
1) The Case of the Melon Heavy Alien Man Eater A UFO crash lands near a strip club and after a few mysterious murders occur, the police investigate and find a conspiracy more worrisome than ever before. 2) Tuition of the Terror Twat A college kid discovers that he won’t be able to pay for college. So, he enlists the help of a couple of his friends to throw a stripper party in order to raise money. But these ladies want blood-money...they’re lesbian vampires and they won’t settle for anything less than victims. Apparently the Troma Company thought it would be a good idea to try and spoof the “Tales from the Crypt” tv series. However over a span of a few years and lots of money expended on a couple of really bad films, the management had to step in. They spliced the films together and created a new movie with a weird narrator with a trash bag over his head. This film like many of Troma’s presentation are basically unwatchable films. You can’t sit there and find any discernible plot or even support the spending of the $$ that they did. It’s all “toilet” humor and butt jokes and frankly...that’s old school and out of date. Troma has not graduated into the 21st century of trying new ideas. It’s the same stuff they always put out and frankly it’s old and boring. And it’s not funny. It’s all topless women and silly gore scenes that neither of which make sense given the weak stories nor are amusing in the way they are filmed. What I do find hilarious is that Troma recognized that they pissed money away on useless kids who had no film-making experience and in order to get the film to even their own low standards, had to improvise. All I can say is this: if you think this film is a terrible film and a waste of $$ that could have gone to the December 2004 Tsunami victims in Asia, how bad must have this film been before they took control and started firing people? Comparison: Frankly there is nothing… |
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