Night Crawlers (1996)
- written March 2004
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Tom & May are looking for a new home and find a really nice one at a cheap price. They wondered if anything was wrong with it and well...there was. Seems the whole town has a problem with strange creatures tunneling under the ground and killing people. And sooner or later Tom is gonna have to deal with these one on one.
Overall: Ok, look. I’m not expecting low-budget films to all have special effects that can compete with “Lord of the Rings” or “Jurassic Park.” However I do expect that low budget films still make an attempt given their financial situation. This movie just gave up. Albeit the first film from the Polonia family, this film is now my winner for the “Worst Horror Film Ever” award. The acting is beyond bad. No emotion in these actors – it wasn’t as if they were reading their lines from off camera. They didn’t even seem to notice they were in a movie. No pretending that anything was real. They were wooden people who weren’t interested in acting. I’ve seen better acting in the “BumFight” videos from the homeless and they took less $$ to appear on camera. It’s a stupid film with a stupid plot. Despite the fact the couple and their kid knows what’s going on, knows of the possibilities, they still move into the house with no 2nd thought. The priest in this film ends up having a 10-minute conversation with the alien creature, which happens to speak English after being on this planet for millennia. And apparently the creature has a deep respect for Jesus since it watched the Messiah die 2000 years ago. The creature tends to vary in size throughout the movie but maybe that’s because the paper-mache kept falling apart and they weren’t paying enough attention when continuously putting the creature back together the creature. The Styrofoam and pen makings were so obvious. I really think these directors thought they had a good product. They took this film seriously and embarrassed themselves in the process. The actors are downright ugly and not even likable. I wanted the Styrofoam creature to kill everyone because then I’d forget the film was 90 minutes long. When a film is this bad, 90 minutes is an eternity. I am considering writing the directors a letter asking for them to pay me for watching this movie. And what’s with the size of these people’s eyeglasses? These things are huge! Made me wonder if they robbed the grave of former Cubs broadcaster Harry Carey. And exactly what was the creature’s space ship made of? It really looked the producers just grabbed some holograph from some breakfast cereal and put the image on the wall using some flashlights. The film quality was poor, the cinematography was poor, the acting was stupid, the plot was silly and the creature looked like the stuffed animal from Mark Harmon’s “Summer School.” Please don’t rent, purchase, or otherwise find this film. Comparison: The Boogens meets Amityville Horror 6 |
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