Aquanoids (2003)
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16 years ago a series of beach deaths were covered up and forgotten about, only occasionally remembered by a drunken old man who no one believes. Now that man’s daughter has found the dangerous Aquanoid mutants and is gonna make sure everyone on the island is aware of them. However the Mayor isn’t about to let his seaside resort take any financial hits and will do anything to stop her from telling the truth.
Overall: On first glance, the movie is a decent film – nothing Oscar award winning but then again, it isn’t trying to be as bad as “Carnivore” or “Ax’em” – however the more I thought about this, the more problems I had with the plot. The film failed to truly follow-up on the mayor’s financial dealings with the key investor and let that plot vein end with the reporter in the shower. The reporter going out of her way to find the story has her sleeping with the wrong people and that never went anywhere. Vanessa's boyfriend basically got lost throughout the middle of the film and I had to go back to even remember who he was. And in the traditional “Jeepers Creepers” fashion we got no true idea as to how these creatures were created or kept existing or didn’t kill anyone over the last 16 years. What reminds me the film was low budget was Vanessa’s mode of transportation and the fact her jutting back and forth on the scooters looked so silly. The nudity too seemed out of place. Vanessa has way too many scenes where the plot cries out for some sort of skin but when the film shows you the skin, it’s so out of place and involving the wrong people. The one time you don’t need the immense shots of nudity is the potential autopsy of a dying woman. The nudity was more forced than flowing. The movie was campy and enjoyable but the gore was also forced. You never saw the Aquanoids do damage but instead saw a hand swipe and then cut to the arm with the blood flowing as opposed to a nice continuous shot. That got old after awhile and soon I was waiting for Obi Won Kenobi to save Vanessa – I mean come on, those were just pre-historic sand people (assuming Star Wars is in distant future and these are non-evolved sand people who still live in the water)? And what was with the double & triple pane shots of action? I thought I magically had turned on an episode of “24” or “Boomtown” with that. I had forgotten it was supposed to be a movie. Ok, so I took exception to a lot of stuff but it truly wasn’t that bad – just that the filmmakers need to a little bit more with their future films. Comparison: Jaws meets The Fog |
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