The Lair of the White Worm (1988)

          James D'Ampton is just trying to enjoy his title and his inheritance but some of his tenants seem to have found old roman artifacts on his land. Going to investigate, he gets drawn into the world of Roman myths and legends, and a pesky British neighbor who can’t get enough of worms and snakes.

          Overall: The film is “loosely” based on the Bram Stoker novel. The story in the novel is fairly weird and contains so many characters it can be difficult to follow and the ending was, for me, anti-climatic. Maybe that’s why the film version keeps the idea of the giant worm and then goes on it’s own story. The film is very unique and original as the creators scripted a neat song (download below) to explain the worm’s history. The song is probably the most memorable thing in the film, except for Amanda Donahoe’s “strap-on.” The sexual tension in this film is chilling but the film overall will keep your attention and be fun to watch.

          Comparison: Dracula meets Four Weddings and a Funeral

The D'Ampton Worm

John D'Ampton went a-fishing once,
A-fishing in the weir,
He caught a fish upon his hook
He thought looked mighty queer,

Now what the kind of fish it was
John D'Ampton couldn't tell,
But he didn't like the look of it,
So he threw it down a well.

Now the worm got fat and growed,
And growed an awful size,
With great big teeth and a great big mouth
And great big goggle eyes,

And when at night it crawled about
All looking for some booze,
It fit fell dry upon the road,
It milked a dozen cows.

* * * * *

This fearful worm would often feed
On cows and lamb and sheep,
And swallow little babes alive
When they lay down to sleep,

So John set out and got the beast
And cut it into halves,
And that soon stopped it eating babes
And sheep and lambs and calves.

So now you know how all the folks
On both sides of the weir,
Lost lots of sheep and lots of sleep
And lived in mortal fear,

So drink the health of brave Sir John,
Who kept the babes from harm,
Saved cows and calves by making halves
Of that famous D'Ampton Worm!

(Repeat last stanza)

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D'ampton Worm song as performed in the film

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