Catholic Ghoulgirls (2005)

Summary: Tonight the dead will walk the Earth and only a few people have the make-up to stop them...and those are our local schoolgirls. And when they’re dressed up for the convent, they can be lethal.           Overall: Frankly, I can’t really write that much more for this movie. It’s really not good at all. The sound is bad, the acting is downright terrible and frankly, there are scenes that are just missing. I’d have wanted to rank this with the “worst of all-time” but that would be unfair to bad films. I think Eamon Hardiman, the creator of this mess, had some good ideas and great intentions. I think he was striving to make a good film that he could be proud of. I can buy that. I like a good independent film as much as the next horror movie reviewer. I’ve seen a lot of low-budget films in my day and I wasn’t expecting “Resident Evil” effects. But the film is just sooooo flawed in some basic areas that I just can’t gloss over it. The overall plot is a mess and quite incoherent. The actors just aren’t very believable. And again…there is just one scene that frankly makes me wonder if Eamon should be flogged for his role as director or as producer. We have a scene in a bar where one character (the one who cusses all the time), is given permission to get a sandwich from the bar…the bartender is handing over control since the zombies are attacking anyway. Within seconds, his friends ask where he went and he’s laying on the street being eaten by zombies...nothing in between. We’re talking serious issues with continuity. There’s just no way that’s acceptable for a DVD release. Bottom line...this has some serious and fundamental issues that makes it quite unwatchable.           But...I will try and throw some praise Eamon’s way…he did try and make this a fun and entertaining film. You can see glimpses of humor and wit. The Lesbian nuns and the zombies have some nice scenes, which are interesting. Eamon has some good ideas. The final product is abominable and no way a watchable film. But I do think he’s got promise.           Comparison: Shaun of the Dead Meets Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

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