Alone in the Dark (2005)

Summary: Edward Carnby feels like he has been summoned to this place. He has a found a mysterious gold artifact and with his discovery Lionel Hudgens, a former co-worker, seeks out Carnby’s death. Hudgens has come into league with some evil creatures while investigating an extinct Native American civilization. And they all have pieces that can help open a door that was closed long ago. But the government’s secret paranormal bureau will get involved and all forces will battle for the right to let the bad creatures out for good.           Overall: Uwe Boll might just be the worst director with the highest budgets...in cinematic history. I’ve seen crap in my time but with budgets under $100K...that almost makes sense. But much of the time, even the low-budget directors know something about plots and cinematography. Mr. Boll is so lost...I’m not even sure the fact he’s a foreigner on American soil can be an excuse anymore. The film is shoddy from start to finish. The plot makes little sense and frankly...without the beginning “text history,” you’d be completely at a loss as to what is going on. (p.s. the film shown to test audiences didn’t have the text and no one had a clue who was on which side) The action scenes are choppy and the stunt double for Slater actually doesn’t look much like him. Any action scenes involving the two are quite poorly done. But the slow-mo “video-game” shots in this film are the same crap Boll used in the debacle that was “House of the Dead.” This guy can’t shoot a good movie if his life depended on it. Hey, I love a good “sex scene” as much as the next guy...but when we get it involving Slater and Reid...we have no build-up, no sexual tension and the scene is frankly out of place and unnecessary. It never gets worked into the plot later either as all we know is that they used to be ex-lovers...one day he vanishes...they never speak to each other then they’re making love...with no more of a kiss or any affection from then on. And the scenes involving the creatures and the military where the darkness comes and goes when it wants...it was almost nauseating – I guess those who hated “Blair Witch”...I see where they are coming from now.           And finally...the acting just wasn’t there. No way could I buy anything that Tara Reid or Stephen Dorff were selling. Dorff did a nice job in “Blade” but in this film, I’d swear he was a different person. He didn’t believe in his role nor seemed to care what he was doing with the character. Listless.           Comparison: The Relic meets Screamers

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