The Abberdine County Conjuror (2005)

- written March 2007

Summary: On one terrifying evening, a group of campers ventured into Abberdine County and fell victim to a back woods Conjuror and her sadistic apprentices Edda and Raven. Bev has gone camping for some rest and relaxation, but when she strays from the path leading back to her camp she is quickly abducted by one of the Conjuror's Zombies then shackled naked to the bloodletting table where she is repeatedly drained of blood for the conjuror's potions. As Meg and Mike are setting up camp, Molly is escaping from her captors only to find herself lost in the woods. Even the local Fortune Teller, Jessie is abducted and subjected to torture and various forms of abuse. The Conjuror, who is over 150 years old uses her victims blood to brew her life sustaining potions that keep her alive but do not keep her from aging. In fact, she is so hideous at 150 years old that she is not played by an actual person but instead is a life size puppet operated via cables. Zombie hunter, Sean Steel, is determined to overthrow the Conjuror, but anyone who wants to survive this gruesome and heinous ordeal will have to find the courage to fight for their lives. (taken from the dvd cover)           Overall: Frankly, that’s just way too much plot for this film. It takes a good long 50 minutes before people start even interacting with each other and the film feels as slow as it actually is. You’re begging for it to get to the point, but it refuses to do so. There’s so many people unrelated to each other and then much of the film all you do is watch these people walk and walk and walk and walk. The effects are quite weak but really, the film’s biggest problem is the story. Too big, too long, can’t connect the individuals fast enough. Skip it.           Comparison: 287th Hour Meets Polymorph

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